isn’t really a post about manga actually it is, so there’s really no need to read any further unless you like to read rambling gibberish. Gibberish like jibber jabber quabber nabber wabber jabberwocky.
I very good at writing this kind of jibberish, because in high school I always hid a semi-flowery notebook under my bed. On the headboard I kept a large jar of maybe fifty multicolored gel pens. Every single night I would pick a random color and scribble for exactly one page. I did this without pause for about four years, so if you think about it, I filled more than a thousand pages with illegible scrawl and scribbles.
I found out over time that this type of writing is called freewriting:
Free writing is a prewriting technique in which a person writes continuously for a set period of time without regard to spelling, grammar, or topic. It produces raw, often unusable material, but helps writers overcome blocks of apathy and self-criticism. It is used mainly by prose writers and writing teachers. (From Wikipedia)
After filling exactly one page, I would never look back. I never re-read anything or even remotely thought about what I wrote ever again, so in a sense those thousand pages of notebook are sort of a black hole. A black hole for my joys and sadnesses and introspections and sentiments and feelings.
My wrist moves and I write something at 3am at night. Then I forget everything.
The notion of even looking back is somewhat kind of scary.